Finding your song.
That’s an intriguing concept.
When we get married, the couple selects a song that becomes their theme song.
My wife, Donna, and I selected, over 35 years ago, “That’s all.” I can only give you love that lasts forever…That’s all. That’s all.
Years later, whenever we’re at a party where there is a band, we’ll ask if they can play it. And that dance is always special, and brings back all kinds of memories.
And I began thinking that the wedding song we select, in many ways, can say more about us as a newly-wed couple than any of the other decisions we agree upon.
And it got me to wondering why weddings are the only celebrations where we select a particular song.
Why not birthdays?
Or any other celebration?
And what would our own individual song be, if we selected it for ourselves?
Would we have just one song?
Or would it change at different times in our lives?
Would it be fast or slow?
Short or long?
Could you dance to it?
Would it have words?
Would you sing it like the original?
Or create your own version?
Change any words?
Or make up your own song?
I’ve heard it said that there is a tribe on the west coast of Africa where, when a woman believes she wants to have a baby, she will hear a song and start to sing it. And that song becomes the song of that baby. Before the child is born. Then the preparing mother teaches that song to her husband, before they conceive the child. Then when the baby appears, they both teach the song to the baby and the baby carries that song throughout his or her life.
By having your own song, I believe you can get more in tune with yourself.
And, because of that, more in tune with others.
So, try this with me for just a minute.
Close your eyes.
Imagine there is as an old-fashioned juke box – inside of you.
(For those of you who are too young to remember what I’m talking about, here is an image of a juke box.)
Each of us is full of hundreds and hundreds of records.
There are A and B sides.
Some we know by heart.
Some we barely remember.
Some are connected to certain events in our lives.
Some are connected to certain people.
Some are covered in dust. They don’t remember the last time they were played.
They range from the first lullabies we were lulled to sleep by to the last song we heard today.
Inside of you are all the songs you’ve ever heard.
Imagine them on small, plastic, round records.
In rows, upon rows, upon rows.
Maybe in alphabetical order.
Maybe in chronological order.
Maybe in no order whatsoever.
And across all these rows is a metal arm that will reach down and select one of those records….your song.
Now, that arm in your own personal, old-fashioned juke box…is moving across all of your records.
And now it pauses – and that metal arm selects just one song.
There it is. That’s the song you have selected.
Look at the title.
Say it out loud to yourself.
Now let it play.
Why do you believe you might have selected your song?
What does it mean to you?
What was going on in your life you they first heard the song?
Why have you been carrying it with you?
Feel what it is like to tune in to your song.
What if that became your inspiration?
Your theme song?
How would you come across differently?
Do me a favor and carry the song with you for a week.
Hum or sing it to yourself whenever times get out of sort.
Or when things are just going exceptionally well.
See how it fits.
How does it help you think and feel about yourself differently?
About those around you in a new way?
Does it help you make sense of what’s going on?
Does it tie things together in some mysterious way?
Do you want to change anything about your song?
Make it more up-tempo?
Change it into something more hip-hop?
Something you can dance to?
Carry your song with you.
Connect with it.
Know why you love that particular song.
And why it is part of you.
Let it be your short-hand message to yourself about who you are – at your very best.
As you hum or sing your song, the next step is to share it with someone you trust.
Tell them why you carry your song with you.
What it means to you.
Tell them what was going on in your life when you first heard that song.
And why you’ve stayed connected with it.
Then ask them if they’ve ever thought about a song that would be their theme song.
And wonder, with them, what it might be.
Explore with them where your songs connect.
Then, with your song in your back pocket, you will be in a place where you are able to tune into yourself more, shifting your awareness, and transcending your wildest dreams.
At the very least, people are going to be wondering what in the world you are singing about.